urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:goddess524 Mary Mary 2006-11-19T16:46:19Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:goddess524:366170 2006-11-19T16:46:19Z 2006-11-19T16:46:19Z Drunken matt rucci: Yeah, not gonna lie, i have no idea where the clit is...<br />Me: BURSTS OUT LAUGHING "NO KIDDING!" urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:goddess524:365944 2006-10-23T19:33:04Z 2006-10-23T19:33:04Z im getting tired of working so hard, and never getting anywhere. someone is always let down with me. and i'm constnatly tired. i never do the thigns i want to be doing. i spend so many hours a day doing homework, yet its not enough. and apprently its not the right thing to be doing, to study so much, because then i don't have time for friends. the only time is weekend, and that is split between so many people, no one is satisfied. including myself. at least at home, there was no split, i was just there, working hard and being happy. per usual lj posts, that doesn't seem to be happening. i love it here, i do have fun. i wish homework got done on its own, that hearts didnt break, that alcohol isn't hte only reason people have fun, and that i was just smarter.moretalented.skinnier.prettier.happier.better. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:goddess524:365709 2006-10-09T16:28:09Z 2006-10-09T16:28:09Z i still got it :)<br /><br />anytime i dont think i do, that dj was fuckin HOT. i did good. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:goddess524:365486 2006-08-21T03:40:14Z 2006-08-21T03:40:14Z i'm pretty sure shes bipolar. that woman is effing crazy.<br />i wish this summer wasn't comming to an end. i'm excited to go back. its comforting to go back to the same place, and know how its gonna be, and know i'm in the right place. it feels like another home when i'm there. which for me, well, i thought that wuold be an impossibility. but its such a good thing that its finally worked out, and thats why i am excited to go back.<br />however, i think i might be slipping into uconn mode, even just a little. i'm scared that now that i'm eevn more attached, its gonna be hard. our one year is comming up. thats a freakin long time. and honestly, i love seeing him every day. i love taking him for granted, and then forgetting that, and being absolutely in love all over again every day. he's in my life now. he is my life at home. i've never felt this way before. its as real as anything i've ever felt before, even more real in some senses, because its simply what it is. we don't try to make it more or less than face value. and that, it turns out, is a lot. <br />i would love to simply have him here at night. to go home to him, every night. that would be perfect. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:goddess524:365056 2006-08-17T03:13:51Z 2006-08-17T03:13:51Z i don't want to go back. its too good here with him. i finally let him in, and i won't fight it anymore. hes the one i pick. and for nwo, it seems like its ognna be for a long time. and i don't want to give it up. i don't want to miss him at school. and i don't want to fuck it up while i'm there either. pooooooooooooooop. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:goddess524:364854 2006-08-09T14:26:31Z 2006-08-09T14:26:31Z so remember that one time i got a tick bite? yeahhhh... lets hope that i'm just tired, and don't have lyme disease.<br /><br /><br />lol i love what i update with. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:goddess524:364603 2006-08-01T03:08:00Z 2006-08-01T03:08:00Z so when i am pmsing i hate life, we all know that. so of course i hate all boys. ha and then there is hottie rob, and he is a silly silly kid.<br /><br />Rhodus333: then im suprised you havent had more boyfriends <br />Goddess6868: ha thanks?<br />Goddess6868: i go camping and listen to zepplin... i AM one of the boys, not exactly pretty in most guys eyes i've learned<br />Rhodus333: i dont believe it for a second<br />Goddess6868: ha well aren't you the smooth talker<br />Rhodus333: yu dont often meet a girl who can be hot and cool simultaneously urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:goddess524:364505 2006-07-21T03:35:42Z 2006-07-21T03:35:42Z i want to settle. have a routine. have him there. and get a little crazy. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:goddess524:364065 2006-07-13T03:25:14Z 2006-07-13T03:25:14Z sorry i was a bitch tonght guys.<br /><br />sidenote, i am not very good at being a girlfriend. i definitely need some work. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:goddess524:363950 2006-06-24T03:59:09Z 2006-06-24T03:59:09Z him: so how are you? like, hows, everything?<br />me: ... really.... yeah, really good. how about you? hows everything?<br />him: eh, ya know. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:goddess524:363595 2006-06-20T02:27:50Z 2006-06-20T02:27:50Z this boy is amazing. he confuses me so much. and its so good. we layed under his jeep for a half hour. pretty fantastic. figuring out how love is supposed to work is scary shit. but having someone let you be scared is what makes you love them more. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:goddess524:363284 2006-06-19T03:50:47Z 2006-06-19T03:50:47Z i wish i didn't do this. i wish i didn't get this feeling. i wish i wasn't so scared. and i wish i could tell him all this. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:goddess524:363166 2006-06-13T22:53:19Z 2006-06-13T22:53:19Z so today was pretty much the best day ever. is it normal that i am at my happiest when i am with those girls? i don't need boys, i don't need anything. it was so perfect when we were driving back, flying down the road, singing jon bon. i do love summer :) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:goddess524:362919 2006-06-09T20:40:03Z 2006-06-09T20:40:03Z i can't keep holding things in. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:goddess524:362549 2006-06-07T03:04:07Z 2006-06-07T03:04:07Z i do love girls nights. you ladies will always be my favorites. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:goddess524:362494 2006-06-05T20:07:14Z 2006-06-05T20:07:14Z i loved today. i spent the afternoon wtih jessie and karen. and i laughed harder than i have in a while. it seems like the stress all went away for the first few weeks of summer, but its comming back. i think its cause its hte off week from the pill mostly that i'm freakin out. theres nothing to control my hormones anymore. i wish i could talk to my mom about that, i tried, and it failed. last time i was at hte doctors, they wanted to help me even more, but theres no way that would happen. i'm scared shitless that i won't get my period tomorrow. but i'm sure i will. i don't know. i just wish i was back with the girls laughing, and not thinking about boys, work, grandma, mom, my boy, school, life.<br /><br />lol i'm pretty sure i love pms. lets me know i'm still functioning okay. ha i love how it takes me to get ridiculously stressed out, to know i'm okay. oh my life.<br /><br /><br />heh quote that will describe this summer, you will hear me say it many times over. ohhh, my life.<br /><br />ps. i am super excited for sunday. why? MASSAGE! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:goddess524:362131 2006-05-26T21:42:46Z 2006-05-26T21:42:46Z you should read his profile sometime. it makes me smile :) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:goddess524:361729 2006-05-26T05:03:46Z 2006-05-26T05:03:46Z nothing matters but that feeling that i get. the world disappears, and he is everything.<br />not in a creepy obsessive or lost without him way.<br />just, only because he makes me smile.<br /><br /><br /><br /><i>you don't look a day over fast cars and freedom</i> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:goddess524:361474 2006-05-23T05:21:15Z 2006-05-23T05:21:15Z being in love is pretty much the best thing ever<br />so freakin happy. <br />unbelievable. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:goddess524:361421 2006-05-16T04:57:37Z 2006-05-16T04:57:37Z i'm having a hard time saying i love you.<br />where is all this doubt comming from? why is it getting to me?<br />i'm sick of nights with boys that are not him. i can't enjoy them. i hate missing him. i just want to have fun. and not worry. or think like this. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:goddess524:361078 2006-05-15T04:31:43Z 2006-05-15T04:31:43Z so last night after that last post, he called me. i was a little upset, because it was not a good phone call, but by 4am things were good again. it'll be so nice to have him home again :) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:goddess524:360871 2006-05-14T05:18:11Z 2006-05-14T05:18:41Z <center><i>thats just the way it is<br />some things will never change</i></center><br /><br />i don't even know where to begin. at least karen saw it today, she at least knows that i'm not crazy. she saw it all night tonight i'm sure. it was out of control.<br /><br />but, i was <i>happy</i>.<br /><br />the chase is always so fun. and then when it falls together, its like nobody wants me anymore. i am a flirt. and apparently not worth being a good boyfriend too.<br /><br />i don't want to be a flirt. i want to be loved.<br /><br /><center><i>somebody's somebody. someone's some one. some sweet lover's lover.</i></center><br /><br />maybe i just ask for too much. both of them have told me that. maybe they are right. maybe i do expect too much from my boyfriends. but, that just doesn't make sense. cause i know girls that really do expect the world, and its given to them.<br /><br />i just want a phone call. someone to tell me that its all alright. someone i don't have to try to win over. someone that is grateful to have me, that thinks i'm the catch, and not the other way around all the time.<br /><br />just a phone call. to say you miss me. or you were thinking about me. ever.<br /><br />i've known this wasn't gonna be perfect from the start. i'm just tired of it being so hard. but now that summer is here, i dont' want to make any rash decisions. i want to see how it goes. but unfortunately, i'm not too hopeful tonight.<br /><br />melinda was right, for as much as i say i care about him, i complain a lot.<br /><br />he used to be so good to me. and i told him not to be, because it scared me. adn i was right, i knew it would stop, and that i'd feel this way.<br /><br />i'm glad i didn't drink tonight. at least i know i can stll do it. it was everywhere, and i didn't drink. that was good.<br /><br />why do i enjoy flirting so much? i just want to be in perfect love. i guess that doesn't happen.<br /><br />gahhhhhhhhhhhh. lol i love how i post once every two weeks, and its always bitching.<br /><br /><br /><br /><b><center>All next week I am painting my bedroom. monday-wednesday probably, i'll be taking down wall paper, and painting. it'll be super fun, and if you want to help, i'll be in my house all day working on it, so just come over!</b></center> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:goddess524:360561 2006-05-01T04:19:54Z 2006-05-01T04:19:54Z [x] I've eaten more than 5 meals a day.<br />[x] I've read a lot of books.<br />[] I've been on some sort of varsity team<i>...are ya kidding me</i><br />[x] I've run more than 2 miles without stopping<br />[] I've been to Canada.<br />[] I've been to Europe.<br />[x] I've watched cartoons for hours.<br />[x] I've tripped UP the stairs <i>sprained an ankle once</i><br />[x] I've fallen down an entire flight of stairs. <i>or so i've been told...</i><br />[x] I've been snowboarding/skiing.<br />[x] I've played ping pong.<br />[x] I've played beer pong<br />[x] I've swam in the ocean.<br />[] I've been on a whale-watch.<br />[x] I've seen fireworks.<br />[x] I've seen a shooting star.<br />[] I've seen a meteor shower.<br />[x] I've almost drowned.<br />[x] I've peed my bed/pants<br />[x] I've been so embarrassed I wanted to disappear.<br />[x] I've listened to one cd over & over & over again.<br />[x] I've had stitches.<br />[x] I've been on the honor roll.<br />[x] I've had frostbite.<br />[] I've licked a frozen pole and got stuck there.<br />[] I've stayed up til 6 doing homework/projects.<br />[x] I've had a job before/currently have a job.<br />[x] I've been ice skating.<br />[x] I've been rollerblading.<br />[x] I've fallen flat on my face.<br />[x] I've tripped over my own two feet.<br />[] I've been in a fist fight<br />[x] I've played videogames for more than 3 hours straight. <i>that was when fallon was still cool</i><br />[x] I've passed out from being drunk. by pass out, i mean come back to the room and fall asleep very quickly<br />[] I've watched the power rangers.<br />[x] I have/I do attend Church regularly.<br />[x] I've played truth or dare.<br />[x] I've already had my 16th birthday.<br />[x] I've already had my 17th birthday.<br />[x] I've gained weight since one year ago. <i>that really wasnt hard for me to do since uconn</i><br />[x] I've lost weight since one year ago.<br />[x] I've called someone stupid. And meant it.<br />[x] I've been in a verbal argument.<br />[x] I've cried in school.<br />[x] I've played basketball on a team. <i>you're damn right i was, true story!</i><br />[] I've played baseball on a team.<br />[] ive played football on a team<br />[] ive played soccer on a team<br />[] I've done cheerleading on a team.<br />[] I've played softball on a team.<br />[] I've played tennis on a team.<br />[] I've been on a swim team.<br />[] I've been on a track team<br />[x] I've been swimming more than 20 times in my life.<br />[] I've bungee jumped.<br />[x] I've climbed a rock wall. <i>this week in fact</i><br />[x] I've lost more than $20. <br />[x] I've called myself an idiot.<br />[x] I've called someone else an idiot.<br />[x] I've cried myself to sleep.<br />[x] I've had pets. <i><b>i love steve</i></b><br />[x] I've owned a spice girls cd.<br />[x] I've owned a britney spears cd.<br />[x] I've owned an N*Sync cd.<br />[x] I've owned a backstreet boys cd<br />[] I've gone skinny dipping.<br />[] I've mooned someone.<br />[x] I've sworn at someone in authority. <i>fuck you mom! don't tell me how to do things!</i><br />[x] I've been in the newspaper.<br />[x] I've been on TV.<br />[] I've been to Hawaii.<br />[] I've eaten sushi.<br />[x] I've been on the other side of a waterfall.<br />[] I've watched all of the Lord of the Rings movies.<br />[x] I've watched all of the Harry Potter movies.<br />[] I've watched all of the Rocky movies.<br />[] I've watched the 3 stooges.<br />[x] I've watched "Newly weds" Nick & Jessica.<br />[x] I've watched Looney Tunes.<br />[] I've been stuffed into a locker.<br />[x] I've been called a geek.<br />[x] I've dumped someone.<br />[] I've been dumped. <i>not technically, no</i><br />[x] I've studied hard for a test and got a bad grade.<br />[x] I've not studied at all for a test and aced it.<br />[] I've hugged my mom within in the past 24 hrs.<br />[] I've hugged my dad within the past 24 hours.<br />[x] I've met a celebrity/music artist. <i>didn't know it at the time though</i><br />[x] I've written poetry.<br />[] I've been arrested.<br />[x] I've been attracted to someone much older than me.<br />[] I've been tickled till I've cried.<br />[x] I've tickled someone else until they cried.<br />[x] I have siblings.<br />[x] I've been to a rock concert.<br />[x] I've listened to classical music and enjoyed it.<br />[] I've been in a play.<br />[x] I've been picked last in gym class.<br />[] I've been picked first in gym class.<br />[x] I've been picked in that middle-range in gym class.<br />[x] I've cried in front of my friends.<br />[x] I've read a book longer than 1,000 pages.<br />[x] I've played Halo 2<br />[] I've freaked out over a sports game.<br />[] I've been to Alaska.<br />[] I've been to China.<br />[] I've been to Spain.<br />[] i have been to Japan.<br />[x] I've had a fight with someone on AIM.<br />[x] I've had a fight with someone face-to-face.<br />[x] I've forgiven someone who has done something wrong to me.<br />[x] I've been forgiven.<br />[x] I've been in love.<br />[x] I've screamed at a scary movie.<br />[x] I've cried at a chick flick.<br />[x] I've watched a lot of action movies.<br />[] I've cried at a commercial. <i>cried during MADE once though, that was a low point</i><br />[x] I've told someone to fuck off.<br />[x] I've screamed at the top of my lungs.<br />[x] I've been to a rap concert.<br />[x] I've been to a hip hop concert.<br />[] I've lived in more than 2 houses. <i>houses no, dorms yes</i><br />[x] I've driven on the highway<br />[x] I've driven more than 40 miles in a day<br />[x] I've been in a car accident <i>indian man.</i><br />[] I've done drugs.<br />[x] I've been home sick.<br />[x] I've thrown up<br />[] I've puked all over someone<br />[x] I've been horseback riding.<br />[] I've filled out more than 10 myspace surveys.<br />[x] I've spoken my mind in public.<br />[x] I've proved someone wrong.<br />[x] I've been proved wrong by someone.<br />[] I've broken a leg.<br />[] I've broken an arm.<br />[x] I've fallen off a swing.<br />[x] I've swung on a swing for more than 30 mins straight.<br />[x] I've watched Winnie the Pooh movies.<br />[] I've forgotten my backpack when I've gone to school.<br />[] I've lost my backpack.<br />[x] I've come close to dying.<br />[] I've seen someone die.<br />[x] I've known someone who has died.<br />[x] I've wanted to be an actor/actress at some point.<br />[x] I've done modeling.<br />[x] I've forgotten to brush my teeth some mornings.<br />[x] I've taken something/someone for granted.<br />[x] I've realized how good my life is.<br />[x] I've counted my blessings.<br />[x] I've been made fun of by classmates.<br />[x] I've made fun of a classmate.<br />[x] I've been asked on a date and said no.<br />[] I've asked someone on a date and been turned down.<br />[x] I've slapped someone in the face. <i>but really want to for real some day</i><br />[x] I've been skateboarding.<br />[x] I've been backstabbed by someone I thought was a friend.<br />[x] I've lied to someone to their face.<br />[x] I've told a little white lie.<br />[x] I've taken a day off from school just so I don't go insane.<br />[x] I've fainted.<br />[x] I've blacked out.<br />[] had an argument with someone about whether cheerleading is a sport or not.<br />[x] I've pushed someone into a pool.<br />[x] I've been pushed into a pool.<br />[] I've had/have a broken nose.<br />[x] I've had a black eye<br />[x] I've lost a tooth.<br />[x] I've chipped a tooth.<br />[] I've been called an under achiever<br />[x] ive been called an over achiever urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:goddess524:360400 2006-05-01T03:58:19Z 2006-05-01T03:58:19Z all is good with the world again. the one thing i have learned is that, if there is a problem not to let it fester and hold it against him. because he's not just gonna automatically know that theres something wrong. especially him, he won't pick it up if i'm being a bitch. and if i tell him, he admits to being wrong if he was indeed wrong. so yes, the drama that has ensued has not subsided.<br /><br />i adore jen krodel. there definitely needs to be more of us hanging out this summer.<br />i am so excited for the summer. honestly. theres gonna be so many different people it seems, even though it really is the same. but in a sense, mel and alice are back. the stupid boys that no one really likes are out. jen and scotty are in. matt is on the fence. john is amazing. leigh i miss more than anything. jessie is with conor and happy, and still gonna be there all summer long but differently, and thats just so good. its all so different this summer. and its just way better.<br />lets start getting excited guys.<br />make lists of what you want to do. ive made it a promise to myself that if an opportunity arises, i gotta take it, no matter what. so if you want to do something this summer, i am IN.<br />list of what i did this year is comming along nicely. i am thoroughly satisfied. it will be posted later.<br />this week will be so nice. gonna take it easy, chug away a little bit with work and such, pack some, pretty much just get super excited.<br />cape cod next weekend possibly. i really hope so. we shall definitely see how that goes. probably not, cause family is comming up. but thats okay, either way, next weekend will be good. why? because i get to go HOME 5 days later.<br />home is so different than it was.<br /><i>a change will do you good</i><br /><br />who knew that lj was still a part of my life. oh it will never fade. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:goddess524:360191 2006-04-30T15:01:35Z 2006-04-30T15:01:35Z relationships were way easier when you didn't actually care about the other person. cause when you do, they have the potential to be incredibly awesome. or hurt a lot.<br />i've tried really hard this semester to cut back on my flirting addiction.<br />and then i get that phonecall. it'd be way easier if i just didn't care.<br />somehow i let my guard down. i swore never to be the jealous girlfriend who doesn't let their boyfriend do stuff. and now thats killing me. i went to bed so angry, hurt, and generally pissed off from my shitty day. i woke up happy, but then i remembered where he was. i let all the shitty stuff from yesterday go. but not that last phonecall. ugh. boys suck. this will not ruin today.